Drumpf deploys dick doctor to derail disease disaster

Top Stories for May 16:

Prez picks penis plumper to prevent pandemic
Have no fear, people of America! Professional dick Donald Trump has appointed professional dick doctor Dr. Brian Christine to deal with the hantavirus crisis. Dr. Christine does not believe in vaccines, specializes in penile implants, and once ran a YouTube show called the “Erection Connection.” He does not have any public health experience, but was made assistant secretary of health anyway. He’d better not cock this one up!

Take Action: Tell the FDA to stop censoring vaccine studies!

VIDEO OF THE DAY: Trump’s “friendly” Fox interview devolves into disaster
You know things are going just great when Great Leader starts getting snippy in softball interviews with state-run media! More specifically, Brett Baier confronted the president about sky-high gas prices, and while numbers don’t lie, Donald Trump certainly does.

Take Action: End gun violence for ALL Americans! Don’t build a ballroom!

Anti-corruption crusader takes on one of the most corrupt Republicans in Congress
Page Cognetti for Congress: Paige Cognetti was elected mayor of Scranton, PA, on a platform of cleaning up the grift and the graft that sapped away so many important public resources. She did such a good job that Pennsylvania voters re-elected her twice — and now she’s aiming to do the same in Congress. So devoted to anti-corruption that she won’t even use a government car, Cognetti is in a perfect position to take out Republican Rob Bresnahan, who got elected promising to end insider trading and then immediately became one of the most prolific insider traders in Congress. Will you chip in to help Paige Cognetti clean up Republican corruption and flip the House blue?

Kash Patel refuses to say who paid for him and his girlfriend to see George Strait concert from private luxury suite
A real whodunnit.

Take Action: Tell Congress: Stop starving families to fund war!

DOJ pushing to indict Raúl Castro over 1996 downing of civilian planes, officials say
The Justice Department is pushing to indict 94-year-old Raúl Castro, the former president of Cuba, according to two U.S. officials familiar with the matter. The potential criminal charges concern two civilian planes on a volunteer mission that were downed by Cuba in 1996, killing four Cuban Americans, one of the officials said. The case must go before a grand jury which decides whether to indict Castro. Charges were expected to be revealed during a public event in Miami on May 20th, which is considered Cuban independence day, according to a person familiar with the investigation.

Take Action: Make Trader Joe’s a sanctuary from ICE’s violence!

Election denier Tina Peters set for release after Colorado governor commutes sentence
Colorado Gov. Jared Polis announced Friday that he’s commuting the prison sentence of Tina Peters, a former county clerk and 2020 election denier who was sentenced to nine years behind bars for tampering with election equipment. Polis, a Democrat, wrote in an executive order that Peters “is granted parole effective June 1.” Peters’ cause had been repeatedly championed by President Donald Trump, who has posted “Free Tina Peters” numerous times on his social media site, including Friday, and blasted Polis as a “sleazebag” who should “rot in hell” for not using his power as governor to free the former Mesa County clerk.