Noem "blindsided" by cross-dressing husband's "secret"

Trump to address the nation with “important” update on the Iran tonight, says war will probably end in two or three weeks

Top Stories for April 1:

Kristi Noem allegedly “blindsided” by cross-dressing husband with “bimbofication” fetish who put her at risk for blackmail
Newly fired Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem alleges she was “blindsided” by a report that her husband of 30 years has been posting photos of himself dressing up as a voluptuous “Barbie doll” online, paying tens of thousands of dollars to strangers on the internet to scratch his “bimbofication” itch. We are not here to kink shame anyone, but we’d be remiss to point out: it is almost ALWAYS the obnoxious grandstanders, pious brow-beaters, and FaMiLy VaLuEs™ warriors who somehow get caught up in double-life scandals like this.

Furthermore, it doesn’t require much imagination to conclude that hostile intelligence services or adversarial governments could easily have intercepted such materials and used them to blackmail Noem at any time.

In a statement, Kristi has asked for “privacy and prayers at this time,” courtesies she patently refused to extend to the tens of thousands of innocent people she had swept off American streets, ripped away from their families, and thrown into gulags for the crime of being born in the wrong geographical coordinates.

Take Action: Tell the Senate: Don’t pass Trump’s SAVE Act!

VIDEO OF THE DAY: Judge issues order halting Trump’s ridiculous ballroom project
District Court Judge Richard Leon — a George W. Bush appointee — issued a ruling yesterday halting construction on Donald Trump’s $400 million ballroom, siding with the National Historic Trust, which argued the president almost certainly needed congressional approval to bulldoze and replace an entire section of the White House. Leon also raised questions about the administration’s “convoluted funding scheme” to pay for construction.

Trump issued a thoughtful, measured response shortly thereafter stating that, while he strongly disagrees with Leon’s ruling, he nonetheless will abide by it, because “in America, nothing is more sacrosanct than a robust and independent judiciary.” Trump went on to quote Abraham Lincoln, who famously stated, “It is a duty from which [judges] may not shrink to decide cases properly brought before them, and it is no fault of theirs if others seek to turn their decisions to political purposes.”

April Fools! He lost his shit and pitched a royal fit, like he always does.

Take Action: Stop Trump’s fake “emergency” plot to take over our elections!

Progressive labor leader kick-starts campaign to unseat New York City’s last elected House Republican
Allison Ziogas for Congress: After 20 years of working as a union electrician with IBEW Local 3, Allison Ziogas is ready to rewire Washington and put the priorities of working families first. She’s running for Congress to unseat Nicole Malliotakis, who praised Trump for his “leadership,” promoted his Big Lie, voted for his Big Awful Bill, and stood by and did NOTHING while his ICE goons kidnapped a teenager in her district.

Ziogas is a proven labor leader whose tireless efforts secured the National Offshore Wind Agreement. Will you chip in to help jump-start her campaign and kick the last New York House Republican out of office?

Republicans eye cutting healthcare to pay for Trump’s $200 billion Iran war
Congressional Republicans scrambling to come up with a cool $200 billion to cover the tab for Donald’s catastrophic adventurism in Iran have apparently settled on taking food and healthcare away from the hoi polloi, because sensibly raising taxes on the very entities benefiting most from the conflict — defense contractors, oil tycoons, and the obscenely wealthy — is clearly off the table. With polls showing a clear majority of Americans already worried “a great deal” about the availability and affordability of healthcare, now seems like the perfect time to twist the knife the GOP has already plunged into the country’s back. Truly, no political party has ever worked this hard to lose a midterm.

Take Action: Tell Trump: No boots on the ground in Iran!

Marco Rubio shrugs about reopening Strait of Hormuz: “We depend very little on it”
Did you hear that, the rest of the world? Not our problem! Sure, we broke it. But you’re gonna pay for it. The “Donroe” Doctrine, in full effect.

Matt Gaetz claims military briefed him on alien-human breeding program while he was in office
Actually, now that you mention it…

Alex Jones says it’s time to “cut bait on Trump” because the president “is in free fall”
When you lose the one guy who’s enthusiastically followed you down every conspiratorial rabbit hole for more than a decade you know you’ve truly lost whatever was left of the plot.

Trump says his presidential library is “gonna be most likely a hotel”
Of COURSE it is.

Donald Trump booed at Kennedy Center while attending performance of “Chicago”
You can hollow out a sacred institution, slap your name on its facade, and stack the board with gutless sycophants, but you cannot make the people love you.

Citing First Amendment, federal judge blocks Trump order to end funding for NPR and PBS
Citing that peskiest of constitutional amendments, a federal judge on Tuesday agreed to permanently block the Trump regime from implementing a vindictive presidential directive to end federal funding for National Public Radio and the Public Broadcasting Service, two media entities the wannabe dictator laughably claimed are counterproductive to American priorities. The immediate impact of Judge Randolph Moss’ decision isn’t clear; the Trump regime will almost certainly appeal the ruling, and irreparable damage has already been done to the public-broadcasting system, both by the MAGA cult leader and his sycophants in Congress.

Nonetheless, the ruling gives hope that at least some funding may theoretically be restored at some point in the future. Moss wrote: “It is difficult to conceive of clearer evidence that a government action is targeted at viewpoints that the President does not like and seeks to squelch.”