Trump names hilarious new prize he totally should've won

Top Stories for October 22:

Trump confuses Nobel and Pulitzer awards during rambling South Carolina campaign speech, then claims he should’ve won the latter for his “writings”
Donald Trump’s last-ditch, pre-midterm tour of safe red states continued at a rally in South Carolina last night, where the president of the United States lusted after Sen. Darline Graham’s husband, made the most incomprehensible noise you’ve ever heard, and then declared that he should have received a Pulitzer Prize for, uh, all his “writings.”

Now, seeing as the jury is still out on just how literate Donald actually is, it’s unclear what he means by “writings.” Is he referring to the deranged and gramatically incomprehensible tweets that he shout-slurs at Natalie to type out for him? Or that one book someone ghost-wrote for him in 1987? Or maybe the birthday picture poem he had typed up for his pedophile bestie Jeffrey Epstein’s 50th?

In any case, we’re confident that “I’m confused, thirsty, and bitter” is a closing message that will truly resonate with American voters in the Deep South.

Take Action: Denounce Vivek Ramaswamy’s disgusting new attack ad!

VIDEO OF THE DAY: Ken Paxton crumbles when asked why he won’t debate James Talarico
It’s truly a marvel how a scandal-plagued reprobate like Ken Paxton has somehow managed to string together a decades-long career in state politics, but if Texans show up on November 3, it can all be in our collective rearview mirror. Speaking with a TMZ reporter yesterday on the campaign trail, Paxton fumbled the simplest of questions — one he had to have known would be coming since he’s steadfastly refused to face Democrat James Talarico for even a single debate. It’s a punishing watch, but an incredibly revealing one all the same. Roll the tape and brace for cringe!

Take Action: Tell OSHA: Enforce Amazon’s settlement!

Trump slurs Dr. Annie Andrews and smears her as child abuser in vile rally speech
Dr. Annie Andrews for Senate: Last night, Donald Trump went to South Carolina, where he pushed absolutely disgusting lies about dedicated pediatrician and mom Dr. Annie Andrews. “You know what a mutilizer is? That’s a person that doesn’t do good things. Tranny Annie advocates giving puberty blockers to young children and even supports giving sex toys and other obscene materials to seriously confused young people and children. That’s not good. That’s what I call child abuse!”

While there’s obviously no basis to any of these ludicrous claims, they can still hurt Dr. Annie’s chances of defeating corrupt Darline Graham. Will you chip in to push back against these appalling smears and help Dr. Annie Andrews triumph over hate?

“Assman-in-chief”: Anderson Cooper plays montage of Trump marveling at men’s bodies
The Best TV Clip of the Week™ award we just made up (hey, if MAGA sycophants can do it, so can we!) goes to CNN’s Anderson Cooper, for shining a very bright light on “derriere aficionado” Donald Trump. The president may try to claim that his very public thirsting over Ohio Sen. Jon Husted was a one-off, but Anderson’s got receipts that say otherwise.

Ya know, for an obnoxious misogynist credibly accused of sexual misconduct by more than two dozen women, Trump sure does seem to like the dudes, too. An equal opportunity objectifier! Very egalitarian.

Take Action: Reject Trump’s dangerous new order on vaccines!

Attorney General Todd Blanche: I work for President Trump
Speaking with The New York Post podcast yesterday, United States Attorney General Todd Blanche, the top law enforcement official in the country, gave away the game, boldly declaring his allegiance to Donald Trump and Donald Trump alone.

Blanche explained, “There was this misperception that there’s this separation and independence between the Department of Justice and the White House, and everybody likes to champion that, and they accused me of not suffering from independence. I don’t.” He continued, “I work for President Trump.”

Any questions?

Iowa GOP gubernatorial candidate caught using FAA loophole to hide dozens of flights to spend time with his family in Wichita, Kansas
Zack Lahn lives in Wichita, Kansas. His wife lives in Wichita, Kansas. Their blended family, including seven children, live with them in Wichita, Kansas. Lahn co-founded a private school in Wichita, where he still serves on the board of directors and as president. Lahn voted in Kansas in 2018, 2020, and 2022, according to state records. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with any of that. Unless you are also cosplaying as a farmer living in — and running for governor of — Iowa.

Lahn, the Republican gubernatorial nominee for NOT KANSAS, has repeatedly assured Iowans that he totally lives in Iowa and any claims to the contrary are baseless attacks from his Democratic opponent, Rob Sand.

His private flight records tell another story. Between September and December 2024, for example, Lahn’s plane spent 92 days in Wichita and only 15 in Belle Plaine, where, in fact, he owns a farm. As scrutiny mounted earlier this year over his repeated flights in and out of Iowa to spend time with his family in his actual home of Wichita, Lahn got creative and used an FAA loophole in an attempt to hide his travels.

But as Meidas News reports, Lahn’s efforts didn’t quite cover his chemtrails. Records of his “new” plane ID show at least 32 flights since coming online in June of this year. That’s one flight every three days, with the majority taking him to and from Wichita.

Sand, on the other hand, is an actual Iowan, having served as state auditor since 2019 and as the assistant state attorney general from 2010 to 2017. It’s an easy choice, Iowa. Let’s all do Zack Lahn a favor and let him spend all the time he wants with his family in Kansas after the election.

Trump admits he made huge concession to Putin to free detained American teacher
Moments after declaring that the United States “gave nothing” to Russia in exchange for the release of imprisoned American Stephen Hubbard, Donald Trump revealed that we did, in fact, give something. A LOT of somethings, in fact. When Donald starts talking, maybe it’s best to just let him cook.

“So we appreciate the fact that we were able to get him. We gave nothing in exchange, which is very rare. We never give anything in exchange,” said Trump during a roundtable at the White House Wednesday.

Just moments later, the story took a curious turn. In reference to the bipartisan blowback he received after announcing his unconscionable diesel deal with Vladimir Putin and the dropping of sanctions Congress literally imposed on Russia just last month, Trump flipped his own script: “I was in the midst of getting Stephen out of Russia and, if we did what these foolish people wanted me to do, he wouldn’t be coming out right now. He’d be in there for another 20 years. So the last thing I was going to do was break up that.”

Experts alarmed by “less transparent” CDC as US measles deaths rise
One deeply troubling and problematic way to keep the worst measles outbreak in 35 years under the radar is for the Trump regime to just be brazenly opaque about the mess of its own making, but that isn’t going to bring back any lost loved ones or keep transmission at bay.

The CDC, which is not bound by HIPAA regulations, is citing nonexistent privacy laws to muddy the waters on reporting new cases, refusing to even name states where new outbreaks have popped up.

Based on the data we do have access to, the United States has already doubled the number of cases reported in 2025, and it’s only October. Job well done, Bobby.

FCC threatens broadcasters over polls predicting disaster for GOP
Gloss over unflattering poll numbers for Dear Leader and the GOP or else! What do you think this is, a frickin’ democratic republic with a functioning free press?!

Peter Thiel breaks with Trump over Iran war: “We should not have done it”
Yeah, no shit, Peter. If only there had been signs that Donald Trump was susceptible to charm offensives and pressure campaigns from the likes of Benjamin Netanyahu, this all could’ve been avoided.