Trump pulls epic April Fools joke in national address

Artemis II rocket successfully lifts off to the Moon

Top Stories for April 2:

Dementia Don offers no timeline or path forward in meandering, delusional Iran war address
Who says there are no good April Fools’ pranks left to be pulled? Last night our imbecile-in-chief delivered a primetime speech to ostensibly ease a restless nation deeply concerned about the scope and direction of our latest Middle East misadventure. What followed was a contradictory, stream-of-somewhat-conscious mess from the remedial mind of a child trying to pass a test he clearly never studied for.

Still not sure why we started bombing the shit out of Iran? Or when we might stop? Or why we’ve amassed 50,000 US troops in the region? Or when we might be leaving? Or when the Strait of Hormuz might reopen? Or if it even matters if it does? Or what’s going on with Iran’s uranium stockpile? Or if it still requires “securing?” Samesies! Donald is either playing 6D chess or he’s proving the absolute limits of his cataclysmic, “fake it till you make it” foreign policy doctrine. Either way, the joke is definitely on us.

Take Action: Pass a War Powers resolution and stop Trump’s illegal wars!

VIDEO OF THE DAY: Pam Bondi faces firing from Trump
According to The New York Times, embattled Attorney General Pam Bondi is apparently on the Trump chopping block, with her hold on the nation’s top law enforcement position reportedly more tenuous than ever. Brian Tyler Cohen breaks down precisely why Pam has lost the confidence of her rapacious boss, and why she, too, will inevitably meet the same fate as every other toady to have held the post.

Take Action: Tell Trump: No boots on the ground in Iran!

These 12 races are the KEY to winning the midterms
Red to Blue: There are 12 Democrats running to flip vulnerable red seats, and their must-win races are the key to us retaking Congress and making Mike Johnson’s majority nothing but a bad memory. All of these Democratic candidates are locked in close races in Republican-held districts, and every dollar might make the difference in helping the Democrats regain control of the House. The Democrats in these races are united by their desire to fight for hardworking families in their districts — not the billionaires bankrolling Republicans’ corrupt and divisive machine. Will you chip in a donation to be split among ALL these candidates to help kick the GOP out of the House?

Trump says US can’t pay for childcare, Medicare, or Medicaid because we have to fight wars
The Republican nincompoop-in-chief just unwittingly saved the Democratic Party millions of dollars by cutting the perfect campaign ad for the midterms. America dead last!

Take Action: Tell your Secretary of State: No ICE at the polls!

Mike Johnson and House GOP finally cave on DHS shutdown after nearly seven weeks
For those keeping score at home, Mike Johnson and his Republican clown caucus just spent the past seven weeks NOT paying TSA agents while turning air travel in America into an interminable hellscape that would’ve made Kafka blush, only to relent and give Democrats what they’ve been sensibly asking for all along: a straightforward resolution to fund the Department of Homeland Security without any additional monies to pay for Trump’s immoral immigrant purge.

The MAGA cult leader essentially held 50,000 TSA officers hostage for 45 days out of sheer, infantile spite, only to grant the feckless pipsqueaker of the House permission to finally do his fucking job and fund the government once it was painfully clear Democrats weren’t actually going to budge. Turns out a spine does the body good!

Humiliated Trump watches own justices tear his citizenship case apart before abruptly walking out
Like a tired, old mafioso trying to exert pressure on lackeys whose undying loyalty he believes he’s owed, Donald Trump made an unprecedented visit to the Supreme Court yesterday to hear oral arguments in his regime’s unconstitutional quest to strip birthright citizenship away from millions of Americans. The wannabe dictator lasted all of 90 minutes before abruptly walking out, as deeply skeptical justices on both sides of the ideological aisle poked gaping holes in his solicitor general’s feeble arguments.

The 14th Amendment plainly states, “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.” But then understanding that would require reading it, and, well, ya know…

Arguing that birthright citizenship is somehow no longer compatible with contemporary American values, Solicitor General John Sauer declared, “It’s a new world,” to which Chief Justice Roberts replied, “It’s a new world. It’s the same Constitution.” Touché.

Trump coalition destroys the historic Pasteur Institute in Tehran in violation of the Geneva Convention
This morning, US-Israeli strikes bombed a century-old medical research center, part of the International Pasteur Network, in a nihilistic, needless show of violence for the sake of it. While Donald Trump speaks often of bombing Iran “back to the Stone Age,” it is our wannabe dictator and Sec. of War Crimes Pete Hegseth who are the barbarians at the gates of civilization, intent on dragging the entire world back into the prehistoric abyss.

Trump threatens to pull out of NATO, says alliance is a paper tiger
Luckily, Donald can’t do that, since Congress passed a law preventing a president from unilaterally withdrawing from NATO after Trump left office the first time. Who was a major co-sponsor of that bill, you ask? Let’s see… oh right, Trump’s secretary of State, one Marco Rubio!

Congressman at a loss after Trump addresses the nation: “I’m not a child psychologist”
Following the MAGA cult leader’s 20-minute, primetime brain fart last night, Democratic Rep. Seth Moulton — a former Marine who served in Iraq — spoke with MS NOW’s Chris Hayes and had this to say: “Chris, I’m not a child psychologist, so I can’t understand the mind of Donald Trump. But the reality is that we… have thousands and thousands of paratroopers headed to the Middle East or already arrived right now, makes me incredibly concerned, you know? I’ve talked to some of their parents. I know what some of those Marines are thinking because I’ve been in those same shoes. I’ve been on ships headed to the Middle East. But even in Iraq, for all the problems with that war, at least there was a plan. At least Congress had voted on it. At least the American people had weighed in. At least the generals had come before Congress and put forward a plan.

“None of that exists today. And so, I think this could get a lot worse… When more Americans start coming home in body bags, this is going to not only just get immeasurably worse for us, for our nation, for our troops, but it’s going to be harder for the president to get himself out.”

Is Iran war really “America First,” Iranian president asks in letter to US public
The president of Iran, Masoud Pezeshkian, upstaged Donald Trump by addressing the American people in an open letter that made it clear that Iran’s animosity toward the United States has far more to do with its leaders and foreign policy agenda than the will of the general public.

Pezeshkian asked several questions that have dogged Trump since his preemptive strikes began: “This raises a fundamental question: Exactly which of the American people’s interests are truly being served by this war? Was there any objective threat from Iran to justify such behavior? Does the massacre of innocent children, the destruction of cancer-treatment pharmaceutical facilities, or boasting about bombing a country ‘back to the stone ages’ serve any purpose other than further damaging the United States’ global standing?” Fair questions, each and every one. Remember when WE had a president capable of articulating thoughts like this?